Too little time and too many things to do

And that’s just the least I need to worry about.

2010 is going to be a junction of life of which I think will bring me to a new world. Friends are taking their own path, struggling, discovering and many more. With and/or without me. Somehow it feels sad. For more than 7 years, it has always been ‘us’ and it was fun and hectic.

I always wonder why there’s a vast road ahead of us that we can’t really go hand-in-hand together. There’s all good reason to it, I know but hey, who would not worry?

I am afraid of the new world I am venturing into that would change me. Or worse makes me loose my precious past. Yes, it is more important to cling on the present and future but the uncertainties are taking it’s toll. I rather hold on something that is certain rather than not. Who knows what could happen.

There’s a lot of uncertainties and doubts in me. It make me further vexed to know that I am not prepared to make a leap into this new world. There’s too many stuff I need to learn.

I don’t even know how to make friends. These past years all my friends were friends not because of my initiation. Rather, it was a natural grouping and what not that bonds us. I wonder if there’s a differences in friendship for those who started it and the ones who are offered.

Too many stuff to think, and little power to act. I could go crazy from this. I know some who has.

I wonder. I dream. But it does not go. I wonder what will happen? For one I hope I won’t lose my  precious friends and won’t change (for the worse).

The use of megaprojects

I’ve been reading the comments on Tun. Dr. Mahathir’s blog, and I am quite baffled by the comments which touch upon the subject of  ‘Megaprojects is useless’.

Megaprojects brings more than physical impact on the country, even if it does not bring as much profit as it would think.

Let us take the Petronas Twin Tower.

1. The construction of the tower created opportunities of local workers to work in a advanced environment. Where else we can gain this knowledge and training for our people?

2. Exchange in technology. The technology brought in during the time of construction and in various other phases is even used today.

3. The local contracted company who worked during the times gained more revenues as well reputation. Just search for info on the glass maker. That alone can be the best evidence.

4. It stands to be our landmark  in the world. After the construction of the twin tower more foreigner learned about Malaysia?

5. Direct investment is quite high comparing to other projects – even if it is not on the level we expected. Plus, who knows how much indirect investment is has caused?

6. Patriotism. I don’t know about others, but seeing the twin tower, Putrajaya and other projects makes me very proud to be a Malaysian. It gives me dreams of one day working on that project or others that gives Malaysia something to be proud of.

Let’s face it. The mega projects is not that faulty. Of course it is not perfect. Nothing can be absolute in this matter. Who could predict in 10 years time what would happen?

It is in the intention of the creator to make something for Malaysia to benefit – note that in your mind. Perhaps by at least supporting them you could help making the profit (if all what matters is just the profit) higher.

On another note, Cyberjaya for example has abundance of opportunity just that the people are not that creative and brave to venture into that sector. See how the companies now are doing?

I could go on more and more, but at least think outside the box. Don’t selfishly go and blame it all. If the logic always go as “The profit is not = or > than the initial capital is bad” we are going to be doomed. I for one vote to not live in a community where profit generation comes first rather than community benefit.

Effects of our actions

What is it that makes people learn? I know one answer is pain. When they created the atom bomb they would think, “Ah, this could be one hell of blast.”

Well they got it alright. One fucking hell of explosion which destroyed two states completely into ruins. Not only that, the lingering effects of the explosions makes it more a ‘blast’.

Recently I read in a book which discusses on nuclear power. One chapter was dedicated on Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombing and the writer wrote about how the scientists who designed the bomb feel. It was grouped into various group since apparently the effects of the bomb was not limited to the bombing range.

Some had a mental breakdown. Some had gone crazy thinking they just created something sinister. Some just peed in their pants. Some even wanted to make more of it.

Somehow this relates to us. The actions we take and choose while it may or may not effect others, it will effects us; and the effect is something to be scared of.

I’m sure we would procrastinate on our work and do works on the last minute. How’s the feeling of doing everything in a limited time? Not to mention the marks we get doing a half-assed work.

I tried doing work early an the feeling was great. Heck, seeing other suffering can be somewhat pleasuring in such cases.

But yeah, it is hard on getting into the mood and all. But hey, it’s worth trying, no?

Wish

Wishing for something really is useless. One way or another, you won’t get it. Unless of course you put effort to it. But the problem is, the probability on getting the wish to come true is very low.

Who knows how long it will take. 2 years? 7 years? Maybe a decade or more.

That’s why I think it is useless. It is better to focus on what we can get rather than something we can’t; but we can’t help it. I can’t help it.

It is also funny on how easy we can help others realize their dream, but not ours. The sad thing is no matter how much we help people, the ones coming to help you back is almost none. Karma? It sucks for the good and works great on the bad.

Again, I can’t help to say, “How I wish…”.

Bla Bla Bla

Puasa / Fasting
Ramadhan is hear and fasting is as hard as it always is. Nothing much, just sometimes the cravings is unbearable.

Though I manage.

Rain
I could say that it is raining for almost half of the day. And because of that I slept half of the day. Slept at 0200 woke up at 1400. Hell, even after that I still feel sleepy - because it is still raining. I wonder why humans get sleepy when it is raining? I pretty sure it is not just me.

Although I like it so much, due to the fact that I haven't experience this much of sleep since I got into the architecture world, I still feel bored. I mean, sleep for whole day? What am I? Hikikomori? I'd say even worse than that.

Documentaries
I am currently on marathon watching documentaries such as Engineering and Empire, Generals at Wars and some few others. I wonder where can I buy such DVD in Malaysia? Waiting for it to air is a bit of hassle. Plus there's only one television with Astro...

Boredom
Can't sleep and bored. Tell me, what can I do? Are they any online game I can play? Other than Maple and Dragonica. Maple is too slow and Dragonica takes time. Something fun and can level up easily.

Or some browser based games such as Travian which I find somewhat interesting.

The End

Foundation year has finished, and now I am relaxing my self before finding some work.

Or not.

Now I am busy trying to find out whether I can continue on at a public university rather than at a private. UM is my first choice but I wonder will I get the chance, considering my marks and all. UITM is another choice as well as UPM. All this sometimes makes me confused and feel unease.

On the other hand, finding work especially nearing Ramadan and Raya is hard; much to my surprise. I hope I could find a work at an architecture firm or at least somewhere that has a good pay.

Meanwhile, when thinking back, I have not really made much friends in college; but the quality of friendship is better than the others. This is what I (would) miss. All the sleepless nights doing project together, in the studio drawing and cursing the exercise and the smell of coffee (yuck). I would miss those. Heck I think I can remember it till the day I die.

Eventually everyone will be separated from each other, although I hope that our friendship would remain.

Some of my works:

Drafting II

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Structure

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Construction and Material

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Design II

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Lots of work.

Been a long time since I write something. I used to enjoy writing up something, but now I enjoy getting a sleep better.

I have lots of assignment and project to do in so little time.

1. Structure Model : The Balsa Bridge + Presentation Board
2. Structure Report : Final
3. Building Design : Spaces Working Model
4. Drafting : Final Project

Who knows what new stuff we will get this week.

Bridge design is not as simple as you think it would be.

Bla Bla Bla

Stress
Stress never fail to infect us, and spreading throughout out network of people. I am in constant stress, but last week I felt the worse stress in my life ever since, well, since some incident. Architecture really can be so stressing to a degree where you want to really give up on it and run away and be a hikikomori. Well, I almost fell into that abyss, luckily I did not give up. It is really a miracle.

But even so, I learned so much from it. It is also a surprise on how much we can learn from taking stress head-on. For one, you can learn how to avoid stress. I've also learned how to manage it. It is different from ones that we learn from reading books and magazines on how to manage and relieve stress. First hand experience is far more effective compared to the 'common' methods.

At the very least I survived, for now.

Getting Sick
These days people are getting sick more and more easily, and I wonder why. One of the reason, I read is because the abundance of junk food throughout the market. Is it now? For people who dislike eating vegetables like me- usually eat, unconsciously perhaps (or just being picky), only from eating from fast food (I don't know why but fast food = junk food, therefore). So is it that bad?

On the other hand, people are forgetting their manner, and would always do stuff that are actually unhygienic. Spitting here and there, sneezing without changing course and more.

At the very least do practise it in public.

Music
I am into instrumental songs these few months. I do love them but I am getting more engrossed in now compared to before.

A few songs that I like:
Eternal Morning (Tablo + Pe2ny ) - White

Dynamic Duo feat 31 MC - Dong Jeon Han Nip

Long time.

It’s been a long time since I write something, been busy with life, well, more like busy with my studies. Architecture consume times like hell. Not to mention the problems I am facing.

My workmanship is always was a problem and I didn’t think it was this bad. Maybe because I did not practice as much as I did in last semester. I did a model desperately for one whole night and the result was shit. A direct fail model.

Although I like my model, I still need to workout my workmanship so that it will be much better. I am having lot’s of difficulties, some of which I wonder if I can manage. After this I really need to change lots of stuff. My self, my attitude – everything. Not sure if I can do it properly or not, but I will try.

It annoys me a lot. The lecturers are being kind to help me a lot, I don’t want to disappoint them. At the very least I want to show that I am improving.

Time as it may, goes so fast that I am always forgot about it. That is one of the reason I am lagging behind. I need to set up my priorities also, which is more important to me now and what is coming.

But changing is hard, especially when you are doing it alone. *sigh*

Getting hot

Apparently we are going to experience hot weather till late September said the Meteorological Department.

What could possible go any better than a almost half a year of ‘summer’. Not to mention that there is a possibility of the temperature increases. For now it is 36.2°C. They say that it will be around 30.1°C to 34.3°C on average, but you know how inaccurate these forecast can be.

Then again, we all won’t care about the weather, expect for complaining. We won’t care for the cause either. It’s enough to know it is caused by the monsoon wind. How pitiful.

Seriously, global warming is scaling up the temperature around the globe and yet we all so fixated at things that have far less importance.

In Malaysia alone we can see jackasses trying to fight who has the power more and in control, rather than being helpful to the people – in many ways.

I’d say 60% of Malaysia knows about global warming. Out of that 20% do something. The excess 40% just play their part – in being ignorant – and do nothing and some to worsen the problem.

Usually people would think that when it is hot we could go and picnic somewhere cold. Now you can’t anymore. Everywhere, in every crook and cranny you will feel the heat.

I don’t know about other people, I’d say we are doomed. No more holidays to escape the drought. No more picnics to cool down with your loved ones. All we have is more crisis and stress piling up; plus with the heat, things sure can be heated.

Now I will continue reading some books while sweating my body off, and drinking my fifth 1 liter bottle today.

Oh, by the way, if we have something ingenious like this picture, I guess we could survive better.

/sarcasm

The Last Remnant

 

The game was first out as a console game for the XBOX360, but then it is ported to PS3 and the PC. Square Enix’s chairman said that this game would be the step stone for international market. Indeed it is – this game certainly made a new level that a game should be.

From Wikipedia:

The Last Remnant is set in a fictional world featuring a number of distinct humanoid races; the Mitras, most human in appearance, the Yamas, strong fish-like people, the Qsitis, small reptilians, and the Sovanis, feline people with four arms. The story of the game revolves around "remnants", mysterious and coveted ancient artifacts of varying shapes and sizes which possess magic powers and which have been the cause of several wars throughout the game's history. As Remnants come in varying forms, all cities throughout the world have one that their ruler is bound to that assist to govern and bring peace to their assigned realm.

For example, Athlum has the Valeria Heart; a gigantic sword set in the middle of the Town Square. It governs courage and gives all those it surrounds the strength to stand up for their rights. David, the ruler of Athlum also is bound to the Gae Bolg; a weapon Remnant that is shaped like a cannon and can deliver devastating effects on the battlefield.

Rush voiced by the sweet voice of Nero from Devil May Cry 4, is your typical fantasy RPG hero, and well, other than being a loving brother he does not really have anything redeeming. Maybe he could have a sister complex. Hm… I think he does have one.

Then again, this game is somewhat complex for new gamers to play, not to mention the battle styles, customizations and the quest are kind off vexing. In addition, the materials needed to upgrade or create weapons is hard to find. Things are made worse when there is too many monsters to loot.

  The Japanese version have a lot of difference I heard. One of it is the Lock/Dead thing.

But that’s the joy of it. It has a high replay value and I even spend a whole lot of time playing just to find a damn item. Monsters are also strong, so you wont feel bored, but, be careful. Rare monsters sometimes pops up and have a 500 million HP. Well, nothing is harder than the last boss, but hell, it’s like Omega being scattered over. How cool is that?

Graphic wise, it nice, but it really need a good graphic card. If not enjoy your slightly-better-than-PSone graphics. Seriously.

The OST’s is very nice, and some of it can make a deep effect. Surprisingly they are not that boring, being repeated again and again.

Now I am off to play and find the damned Weredragon Talon.

Life

When you have something to do everyday, and suddenly one day you have nothing to do, what would you feel? I feel bored definitely; so bored that I would die because of it.

I wonder what would I do? Playing games is out of the questions, I don’t really have any particular games I want to play. The consoles is at my friends house. The PC used to download stuff. And I am leave with the walkman to hear the same ‘ol song over and over again.

I could go out and play but then, I’m to lazy. With the global warming and stuff makes me wonder how some people can survive being so active, not to mention some of them is doing useless stuff.

So, here I am, lazy and bored, thinking about life. Then it came to my mind that a person’s view towards life changes every time. At one point they say A, and at another point they say B. I wonder, is life is that subjective? How can we make life to be, objective enough?

A purpose driven life, I daresay that is what we all are searching. Having some purpose, even if we were to be a cleaner would change our perspective perfectly. I’m not sure how, but I never seen one before, at least in real life. But I do contemplate in a way on how a person might think about life when they have an objective.

It would be like living a story – a pre-written story just for us. Isn't that cool? Our views are somehow focused to the objective, not having unnecessary thoughts and in the end for others they might look like a robot.  But then, we just need to do what we only need to do, no excess effort. I wonder how would one feel?

Even so, what is the pro’s and con’s on living between a subjective life and a objective life. What’s so different? I don’t know, since I don’t know much on how people that has found their purpose in life thinks.

Life, so mysterious.

Sleep

I used to complain how I am lacking of sleep.

Now I am beginning to regret saying such things because now I am sleeping whenever and wherever I can. I don’t know why but, heck, even a polar bear cannot beat me.

I wonder why? And I am eating like crazy. Sadly I did not really gain much weight. Still underweight, just a tad little under the limit.

I reckon maybe the overdue stress makes me feel tired. I wonder.

On the other hand, I want to write about something but, I feel a bit tired writing about lame stuff. The world issues somehow bores me, more than a Looney Toons can make me feel.

Sometimes I feel like this:

Rest in peace my dear...

Kawaii deshou?

Siblings love~

The one who died...

One of the kitten that the friendly stray cat gave birth to four cute little kittens.

It made my day. All four of them was so cute and fluffy and, damn, I just love them.

Then today, when I went back home, I got the news that one of the cat died. He was weak and had his leg broken...

I wonder what happened to him. I feel sad and angry. I did not notice this... I could not do nothing...

Rest in peace dear. al-Fatihah.

The world and stuff.

When I watched Discovery Channel today, after a long period of time, I realized that I am not quite updated with the news of the world today.

I do know what is happening, but what I do not know is that the details and the follow-up stories.

For example, about global warming. Greenland glaciers is melting at an alarmed state. Even the researcher feels anxious seeing the reading they took; even worse, they scale it at 11 - in a scale of 0-10.

The same thing kinda happens at Alps. These 150 years it has lost more than 60% of its original volume. I'd say it's like a mountain that went on diet. While some thinks that these is nothing more than a propaganda or just a normal cycle, the suffering that we gone through and more importantly the Earth gone trough is real.

Why do we need to deny all this? Is it hard to abandon something for the sake of living in a more healthy way? Is it hard to live without gas? It is hard to plant a tree? Is it hard to recycle?

It is not. We are lacking of conciousness and effort. While we think that a decade is a long period of time, bit by bit time flies buy and suddenly it comes. Perhaps even sooner as things never goes the way we plan; more like, we never plan anything, God does.

Politicians should focus more on their job and raising awareness to the people of the greater issues at hand. It is not that hard to postpone a stupid quarrel for the sake if improving life quality. America for example should improve their economy first and raise the security and life level in their own country before trying to go and be a busy body on other countries affair.

All countries need to do the same. First world or third world, they are all the same. The difference is the richer one country is the better the survival.

Then again, the richer the country is, the more polluted it is. The same with moral degradation - directly proportional to wealth. I guess it's true that advancement with only physical in mind is nothing more than a poison - it will corrupt the minds of the people disrupting the flow of the society.

When I think about this, all the problem we are facing today is because we are too ego, too proud, too greedy.

And we are being too stupid. What's the use of having a mind when we don't use it?

'O God, what will happen to us?

The day before the Judgement Day

Tomorrow is my review for design class, slightly nervous...

My models in action. LOL

I like how the shades came out.

Interior space lightings.

The black smudge is on the glass NOT the model.

Top view. The shadow is quite nice. Second floor btw.

I hope tomorrow will be a nice day because today is not. I lost one set of my drafting drawings, and I hope the lecturer have marked mine. 'Cause if not, I will be considered to have not submitted.

Now all that's left is a few more drawings for drafting before this Friday and exams on the following week; and then I am FREE for a whole two weeks. Unless duty calls me - somehow I regret joining the club.

Random stuff...

Just about to finish my horrid drawing, now taking a rest. I don't know what to think of right now, cause I am kinda confused. The days before and the days before the days before; and so on. I don't know what happened to me, maybe I am bored, or just plain sick. I am sick now actually, but well.

Tomorrow is the presentation and yet I still waste my time lazing around doing nothing. I did not even watch anime. I wonder what is happening...

I read something on death and it is said that people who are going to die changes as his death comes nearer. I remember somehow one good man said to me,

Life is like an arrow, shot by God aiming to the bullseye. Either the arrow stops at the end or stops in the middle, it's what we and the environment decides. We die when we stop at the bullseye, or when we are hit by the wind.

Well, yeah, anyway, I somehow feel that maybe death is coming nearer to me. I don't know.

At any rate I want to die in my room when I am sleeping, buried near my grandfather's tomb.

And after I watched all the anime this year; and Decade; and Shinkenger; and uh... I don't know.

THE END

Radial organization, common yet so hard to understand.

The interior is to make people try to peek inside and guide them.

The best view?

After a hectic day trying to find buildings for Building Construction and Sciences, finally I finished my model. It seems that it did not take a long time to do the interior part of my design, much to what I expected from my earlier estimation.

Oh, to Blovvfly, why I need so many cubes? To be precise I need to make 50 cubes and with openings and what not, for my assignment in design class. It will test my understanding on the design principle: Hierarchy, Symmetry, axis, rhythm, progression, contrast, datum, transformation, et cetera; and the organization principle - for this one I choose radial. Sounds hard?

Other than that, after visiting the church somehow I feel that Malaysian Christians are somewhat suppressed. I'd say because Malaysians are still too old-fashioned in their way of thinking. Well, anyway I am thankful to the worker there that are very supportive to use - giving us many information. By any chance if you read this post, please know we both are very thankful. You has helped us a lot.

For now, I just need to concentrate on my presentation drawings and the case study. Next week is drafting week.

I wish that my torrent speed for the SNSD file is faster... If only I could watch Yoona face and in action, I'll definitely have the energy to go on for three days non stop.

My dear lovely Yoona~ Sarang he!

Another rant...

After relaxing through the day, after the damn shit I been through, I was thinking more and more how my life changed after taking architecture course. For good and for bad.

For once I can control my laziness and my habit of procrastination; even not as much as I hope for. Fearing to fail and what not maybe the factor behind this. I'd say my course mates are also contributing got this also. Somehow I am confident to change, a bit.

But then, I never thought that trying to run away from exams would make me encounter this hell. Well, it's fine with me, just that sometimes, I feel stressed in a way that normal people cannot seem to expect.

Like today, I gave a presentation with just a 10 minutes brief on the slides. I was talking about Frank Gehry and his style, babbling things that only God-knows. My time was consumed by model - which I had not finished yet. I am taking a break to recover my hands since it hurts so bad. Then again, I am quite motivated for tomorrow, well, I was planning to try and finish my model by then. Hope that I can manage.

On the other hand, more assignments to do. I still need to finish my drawings. My sketchbook is M.I.A., so in the mean time before I can find it I need to draw 20 more drawings as a backup. The final drawing for the Drafting class is going smoothly. I'm saddened by this loss.

Science class is going rather slowly but steadily.

History... I just need to re-read all the notes.

I guess that's all that I left to do. After that its party time, or I should say sleep time. Since I got into architecture, my insomnia is fading and I am turning into a nocturnal creature or some sort. During the day I get so active for no reason and in the night I become kinda active. My body is messed up - much like my mind is now?

Hell

1/3 or the rubbish and all the UHU I used.

A few cubes that I have finished. A FEW.

Final model are in progress, and I feel like I am in hell. Well, in a way. My hands are so sore...

How the hell in end up in architecture?

Although this is final, due to lack of sleep my work are not that good. I hope I will pass.

And now I don't have any UHU to use... So I need to postpone my work tomorrow morning. Not to mention to remove some of critical element in my design. If only I can stop time...

Tomorrow is the submission... ~_~ Life is not as cruel as architecture or so it seems.

Earth Hour

Earth Hour is coming up!

Show your support to this noble attempt in showing how we want and how can we change the way are, in dealing with the current state of climate change. In December 2009 world leaders meet in Copenhagen to agree on a post-Kyoto policy for tackling climate change. One billion people voting with their light switch during Earth Hour will create a powerful mandate for our leaders to take strong and decisive action on climate change in Copenhagen.







Sign up and be part of this movement.

Yes, we can! We can change!

You can do many more, and spread the word! By mouth, e-mails, or even making your own movement in your city.

Visit the Malaysia site of Earth Hour.

/Rant

Ok, I wanted to write something but I don't know what so I am going to write some rants.

First of all, I am tired with my schedule. I know that this is how Architecture is, but, the schedule is too tight. Not that I don't agree, I understand. But, I want to rant a bit to let out my stress. The work that needs to be done is fine, I can manage it. But the schedule and what really happens is what is making me stressed.

I still have to choose one more building for Science and my team members are not helping out. Not to mention Goggle also did not help much. Maybe I need to go to the library, oh yeah, in South Campus. That is, if I have the time. The only time I have is during Wednesdays. Thursdays are too tiring for me. Fridays is studio day.

Speaking of which today I messed up. My work were horrible, well, the objective is cleared but the result is not something that I can be proud of. At least the second one. Not to mention I messed up to colours.

I made a schedule and I hope I can manage to follow the schedule. I need to cut down anime and gaming time for now to clear up some time. Only after that I can do my marathon.

Oh, did I ever mention how I want to be like House? Well, not so raw like him but at the very least somewhat straight and decisive.

And yes a bit more sarcastic.

I wish that my wish could come true.

Tommu heavenly6 - Unlimited Sky

ROMAJI
nokosareta yume no ato fumitsukeru
kimagure na shinigami ga tachidomatta

surechigau boku o miru tsumetaku
orokana tsumi o keshikakeru you ni
nobasareta te o furihodoita

fukiareru kanashimi ga
kono mune o kasumete
ikutabi mo kurikaesareru mujou ni

karenai natsukashiki hibi sae mo nikumeta
bokura ni nani ga dekiru
kakagerareta eikou no imi nado
wakaranu mama

kirisutetekita hazu no kankaku ga
yomigaeru reisei o matoi nagara
kasokusuru iradachi o kakushita
kanjou nanka yaku ni tatanai
dakedo kokoro ga oitsukenai

hangyaku no SCENARIO ni
maiorita datenshi
naze kimi wa hikari no soto ni iru no ka
kizuita yo
moshi boku ja naku umareteitara
waratteirareta ka na
mushou no ai sono naka de
kodoku nado shiranu mama

kyoushuu o utsushidasu
tooi sora o mitsumeta
donna ni negatte mo
towa ni furerarenai

maketeitanda jibun no yami ni

tachimukaeru dare mo ga tatakatteiru
kienai kizuato o kakaete

fukiareru kanashimi ga
kono mune o kasumete
ikutabi mo kurikaesareru mujou ni

ubawareta hakanaki hikari
ikita akashi o tsunaide
donna hoshi mo
ukeirete boku wa ikiru
saigo no shunkan made

ENGLISH
Trampling on the remains of a left-behind dream
The whimsical Shinigami stopped and stood

Passing by, it watches me coldly
As if to instigate a foolish sin
It shook and untangled its outstretched hands

Devastating sadness
Overshadows my heart and
Is cruelly repeated over and over

We came to hate even those precious days we can’t return to
What can we do?
We didn’t understand the meaning
Of the glory we carried

The sensations that should have been cast away are resurrected
While clad in serenity
We accelerate and hide our irritations
Things like emotions are useless
But our hearts can’t catch up


The fallen angel swooped down on
The scenario of rebellion
Why are you outside the light?
I realized
If I hadn’t been born as I am,
Would I have been ridiculed?
Within in a selfless love
We don’t know things like solitude

I gazed into the distant sky
That reflected my nostalgia
But no matter how much I wish
I can’t be touched by eternity

I lost to my own darkness

Everyone who can stand is fighting
And carries unfading scars

Devastating sadness
Overshadows my heart and
Is cruelly repeated over and over

The stolen, fleeting light
Connects to the living proof
No matter the fate
I’ll accept it,
And live until the last moment

Lyrics credit from:
Gendou

Watchmen

Watched this movie today and I was baffled by the movie.

The trailer do seem to add some epic-ness to the initial review to the movie. I'd say that the trailer is overrating. I don't know what the hardcore fans would say, but personally as a layman to the story, Watchmen the movie certainly makes no logical sense.

None at all.

The story starts of with a whole, I-don't-know-how-many-minutes, opening. Cool? Fucking no. The introduction was not that helpful as it shows a flashback scenes without dialogue. Not to mention that the transition is quite fast. To make things worse the movie choreography is very weird. I know that the story is made where retro style and modernism comes together, but, the way it is being put inside is too much for us to handle.

Although the character settings is good, in fact that is the only thing that makes me stay awake inside the cinema, again the way that the director choose to put the story does not fit.

I dare say some does not even notice the change in the generation of the Watchmen.

Watchmen is made in as a means to reflect contemporary anxieties and to deconstruct the superhero concept. I can understand that, but in a marketing point of view, making things too complicated is not a good thing. Personally I think that the director should make some changes in ways the scenes flow through, and then improve the connection between the scenes making a more impact; in which can create an understanding of what Watchmen is should be - making a whole new concept of what superheroes should be. Ok, not so-super.

In the end, the conclusion is not strong enough to make an impact for the viewers to understand, and the plot is also not strong, swaying from the past and the present confusing the viewers. I remembered hearing one people sitting at the back of me in the cinema saying, "What happened here?"

Even so, I applaud the actions in the movie. Although not so much, the actions does make people go in awe. Although there is some excessive violence shown. Seriously, too excessive. I think the movie is cut down.

Then again, for a three hour show, lacking actions and confusing screen play; Watchmen is certainly a movie that will bobble your mind to perplexity.

Oh yeah, the senseless 'sex' scene is making it more perplexing. I do like the humour though.

I end this with a quote from my friend,

The viewers are the Watchmen. Not the one in the movie.

To someone, again, who I suppose would read this. You know who you are.

Oh seriously, shut up. You don't even know who and what I really are. You think you know me better? All your bitching are annoying. Who are the one that actually ruins the family? You or me? Me and your mother are sincere and yet you say such things to your mother?

I don't know where you got such idea but please think rationally.

And no, I don't love you, romantically.

Anime VS Cartoon

I have been wanting to write something about this.

Personally I am disgusted by the act of people trying to pair together anime and cartoon. Yes, I know that there is a few similarities between these two, but then again, there is also a plethora of differences, which makes them unique in their own way. For me, at least, the differences shows the supremacy of anime.

I know the arguments that cartoon lovers or neutralist (those who group anime and cartoon as the same) is kind of understandable. Makes sense to some, convincing to many. But not all. They are giving opinions as the public, not as the specialist in the area. They know about cartoon, but they are not in anime. While it seems that anime is simple, it is not. There are many areas that one need to understand to fully apprehend anime.

First thing off, I just want people to seperate the two entity. I am not saying that anime is better, or cartoon is stupid, no. Just no. While it is different is does comes from the same root, animation.


Anime VS Cartoon : Storyline

Anime as what we all can see has a wider, deeper, more complex storyline compared to cartoon. In fact cartoon has the most simplest storyline ever. Take Power Puff Girls for example; One episode Mojojojo, another episode the Red Crab and the next one, again Mojojojo. I do admit that for the younger audiences it does seem appealing, I too share my own love to Power Puff Girls.

But, as I grew older, the series becomes dull and not appealing. Sense of logic, morality and many more values that I've acquired makes me stay away from the simple series. Its dull and boring to me now.

I know that cartoon and anime has difference is audience target, but even anime that is targeted at children is better. More logical, less stupid and drawn better.

And for those who wants to argue, Hayao Miyazaki works can show the wide differences and the similarities that an anime and cartoon can have. Then again, that is for those who really can make a real judgement.

The Brave Story for example was a great anime that shows how anime can effect the audiences. I myself personally was entranced and taken away by the story telling that the anime bore. Compare it to cartoons, I never feel like it. Yeah, of course, unless you are 7 years old, you can practically be taken away with almost anything that is eye catching.

But anime is different. It has something more than just stupid loony action. For some anime it touches the very idea of humanity longs for, despise for and many other. I dare say that anime is one level higher than cartoon that tries to reach the audiences by its storyline and making an understanding of some values.

Anime VS Cartoon : Audience Target

While it does not seem to be important I think this argument, that would always being brought into play to the arguments between an avid anime fan, neutralist and cartoon fan, is also important.

Like in this article, anime is considered as a part of the culture not like cartoon. Maye the differences in culture and understanding makes it more complex. That is why the producers rather spend more money in TV drama's and airtime instead of giving some to cartoon.

In Japan, because of the manga culture, anime has been accepeted wide as something normal. There is demand. There is market outside the series airing. To much people surprises TV broadcaster can get more ratings compared to some drama series; well yeah, not all but there is.

Even anime movies such as Kara no Kyoukai has gained a blockbuster status amongst the otaku.

Anyway, because there is demand from avery age group there is more and more series being developed. Be it from the manga or an original anime special, anime is growing according to the peoples demand; and some tries to create something new for the audiences. There is a lot of levels in anime viewing, from my obsrvation at the very least.

Normal fan would just love to see so-so storyline, nice drawing and that's it. They don't care much if the story is stereotype or the style is dull.

Intermediate fan would love interesting storyline and a nice story. You could say that this group actually values anime.

Avid fan is what I can say as lovers. They watch anime not just because of the storyline and the art, but because the sense that the anime has. And some, what the studio brought.

Last but not least, the otaku. They are what some studio are trying to surprise or something in that sense. They watch almost all anime and try to make a cult out of it. Extremism? I don't think so. The thing is they took the time to evaluate every possible aspects there is of each anime and each episode they watch. Even the smallest little detail they try to find out and make something out of it. I seriously wonder how they can do it.

So there we have it, the difference in anime and cartoon.


Anime VS Cartoon : Art Style

On contrary belief of the deep relation between the anime/manga style with the western style of drawing, there is a define line between them.

The most common argument that would always being brought over is the Hayao Miyazaki eye theory. I am not saying that it is false, neither claiming it to be true. Let's just leave it there and take it as a fact.

So, its true that the Japanese took the styles from the western to create manganime (manga+anime) style.

Then, how come that the style is much better that the latter? I never seen an cartoon series that has somewhat nice style. All there is just box faced characters and some weird character. At the very least in anime, while with all the incomprehensible characters they are drawn to a logical and better way. I don't want to see a character with a trapezium face, or something in that sense.

The backgrounds and the colouring are something else too. More detail, more vast, more deep and rich. While there is some cartoon that features slightly more detail and more rich than normal, but when compared they are not something to win.

つづく

Talk. Play. Love.

No, this is not an advertisement by Samsung. Although, it is something related to it.

The catch phrase made me think quite a lot, for instance the importance of such activity. I feel that that three adjectives can mean a lot when we practise it.

Nowadays, we talk, we don't play, we don't love. The steps between the three activities is not there, or the sequence is off. Talking, playing and living is important in spicing up or life. I somehow feel that it would make us more hyped in a way. It creates that atmosphere at the very least.

Human need to talk to communicate. They need to play in order to have fun and to understand each other. Love to make peace. I'd say that these all is a important elements in life, other than virtue that is.

Happiness does not comes easily. There are things to do and the conditions to it.

Anyway,

Thinking

And so, when I was perplexed in the though of the future, I thought of something helpful, at least to me, which is - just concentrate with what you can do.

Yes, I know that it is a simple thing, but is there a time that we actually consider it? I mean, like always, we would say this and that, idioms here and there but we don't actually follow it. I my self even though I know quite of number of quotes, I do not actually try to fully apprehend the real meaning of the words that I spoke of. Unless of course in some conditions that makes you think about it.

There are a lot of time when we are in position to think, but we choose not too - because of it's a hassle. We never thought that thinking about it and lkearning from it can bring so muhc benefit to us; that is of course, when you learn and practise it. Complicated as it is, the result it will bring is amazing. Try it. The simplest thing also can make a difference.

Which bring us to the ability to think. Not all people like to think actually. Not that they are stupid, they are lazy, and maybe perhaps, the choose not too because they know someone else can do it for them. Wait, isn't that laziness also? Anyways, I once thought about this and I made a inference that people think because they want something. They want to change things in to benifitting them, in bad ways and the other way around. No matter how they try to find a way to get what they want.

Take hacking for example. A simple example as that is kinda self-explanatory, of which that the hackers are usually operating with self interest. Whether for the good or the bad. Then again as we all might know, moral standards are different here and there and from one person to another. We might think that hackers are bad, but some don't.

My friend wrote about this, in his essay entitled Heroes and Stupidity. One of the questions was about the connection between heroes and stupidity. In relation there is a line that can make things go white or black which is - the moral standards. While we have laws and what-so-ever, we actually have no moral standards. One mind is different from another, and this what makes some bad guys can be a hero and some heroes is not. But for what ever reason they are, people's opinion will always be divided.

Anyway, into topic, as I said earlier, thinking can actually make your life better, not to mention if you think and study the idioms that you always hear. Quotes, as in real helpful quotes not from some retarded superstars is also a good choice as they are a words of people that has gone through their hardship and their thoughts and the present and past.

So think.

I WANT TO DIE

0332 - I still haven't finished my model.

Not even halfway I'd say.

Two days is not enough. Seriously. Damn.

My hand hurts. My head is spinning. All I have is the tasteless tea, oh wait, there's none. I thought there was a jug of it....

Indeed ARCHI-TORTURE.

So tired, and my back hurts.

I wonder if I can finish it in time and still have the power to go on with tomorrow's class.

In addition to that I hope there will be no bad things going to happen tomorrow.

The razor blade looks to tempting. It's so sharp.

EDIT:
0424 - Basic Shape finish, need to do the openings quickly. Almost time for Subuh.
Damn, I wonder if I can make it through today.

Shadow casting is not something easy.

My hands are red now, like it was being soaked by very hot water. Not to mention the shaking.

And I almost cut my toes.

hahaHAHAhAahahAHAHHahahHAha~ @_@''

EDIT:
0642 - 'Finished' the model with some parts made in a hurry, not being so much in sync with the other parts. I am too sleepy to think of a new simple design.

My hands are glued with super glue.

My back hurts, and my eyes are crying for no reason. Like the poor little cat that was calling for its mother the whole night.

I seriously wonder what will happen in today's class.

Obviously...

It is obvious that your heart are not with me.
But you still are here with me,
Making me wonder why...

When we both thought this is going to be over,
We somehow end up being together again - out of the blue.
When it is finally over,
You come back crawling to me.

You take my breath out of me;
With your betrayal.
With your lies.

You would always ask me, "Do I like it?", when I did something wrong to you?
I wonder why I did not ask the same thing to you?
"Do you like that?"

Obviously no.

Sore and sick because of you,
You would come to me and pretend not knowing,
Putting a façade, asking me to attend you - killing me slowly;
And yet I still want to be with you.

I wonder if I am entranced?
Maybe I am bewitched by you and your lies.
Obviously, you don't even care.

You.
Now as time goes,
My hate has turned into nothingness.
You come back to me;
What can I do?

Obviously, the same thing you did to me.

Tag

Tagged by Andrew.

Rules:

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.
At the end, choose as much people as you like to be tagged.
You have to tag the person who tagged you.
If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you!

1. I want to be Gundam!

2. I want to marry an anime girl, at least in my dream.

3. I want to be Tendou Souji's disciple.

4. I want to have a daughter.

5. I am a lolicon.

6. Cats is fine too!

7. Work is work. Life is life. Relationship is not related.

8. I want to live in Japan.

9. Seriously speaking, I am a sleepyhead.

10. I contradict my self sometimes.

11. Love is nothing more than a method human use to show that they have heart.

12. Favourite phrase - "Diao bu diao?"

13. Yes, we can!

14. I love green tea and not so addicted, but loving it.

15. Death is a pleasure and a gift for us.

16. Loyalty is very important too me.

17. I value friendship more than a normal people would.

18. I fucking hate waiting.

19. I am liberal yet, conservative and reserved in many different ways.

20. It is quite hard to make me really angry.

21. Loli is my weakness.

22. Anime is my life.

23. I love chemistry.

24. I like laws.

25. I want to be free!

***

I tag, Andrew, again. Senel Akros if you want. Blowfly if you have the time. Awangy if you see this. Siti, if you are free also.

Gonna add some more after this.

ブラブラブラ

テンプレートを更新
私は神のイメージでは、ブログの背景を更新しました。彼女はとてもかわいいね〜

私はもう少しスクリプトを学ぶことは、んだし、もっとブログのテンプレートを編集します。私は、より多くのフォントを変更したい。

私の最初の作業を完了する必要がある、そして残りは、残念なこと。

L 本を読むことができる場合は-私はあなたの助けが必要！

こちらのブロガーにアカウントを作る。真剣に。

∧＿∧　　 ∧＿∧　　 　∧＿∧　　 ∧＿∧　 ∧＿∧
　（　・∀・） 　 （　｀ー´）　　（　´∀｀）　 （　ﾟ ∀ﾟ ）　　　 （　＾∀＾）
　（　　　　つ┳∪━━∪━∪━━∪━∪━∪━┳⊂　 　 　つ
　｜ ｜　|　 ┃ L MAKE AN ACCOUNT!! ┃ ｜ ｜ ｜
　（_＿）＿） ┻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┻　（_＿）＿）　　　　

空の境界

このシリーズをとても気に入って見た。非常にユニーク。
しかし後半、私は追いつくだろう...
たぶん...かな？

デモさ、私は、アニメの背景にある本当の話ですか？ ヾ(ﾟ∀ﾟ )/

日本語ポスト
時間の時から、私は日本で日本語の練習に何かを投稿します。あれば教えてくださいエラーまたは何らかのされています。私は新しい辞書が必要です。プラス、私はそれを私は深刻な日本の言語を学ぶことになる時だと思う。多分私は言語のクラスに移動する必要があります。

しかし、その後、私はお金が必要...

と私はPSPを買いたい。

お金、オハイオ、お金...　ヾ（゜Д　゜）づ

From time to time, I'll post something in Japanese to practise my Japanese language. If there is an error or anything please tell me.

Hetalia Axis 3

カンパイ!　て。。。あれ？！

根エーちゃんもでかいよ！女子している大。。。 ｗｗｗ

ヘタリアとても面白いです～

Chromed Shelled Regios

I have been watching many episodes of this anime and I have grown fond of it.

For starters, the plot seems to be thick, although it is unclear to where this anime will be heading. I can't say that its going to a love X fighting story, because there is some indication (or so I think...) that there will be a plot twist here and there to make things more dramatic. At the very least I think it's going to something that worth the wait.

The characters are also made quite nice, fitting the story well. The art is nice too, albeit at some point the quality drop ridiculously. Oh, not to mention the "English" scene for the anime is horrible.

What's this? A horror anime?

And the dub, although I don't want to admit it - it is horrible. I mean, it is almost incomprehensible.

The script at times is also funny. Take this one for example:

Say, what?

OMG

Anyway, the music is nice. The background music for the battle scene is quite nice if you hear it properly. Unless of course you are a hardcore electronica lover or hater. Well, everyone has their own preference. I am quite versatile so I am fine with it either way.

Another thing that I like about this anime is the weaponry system. The weapon in the world of Regios is called Dite and needs a type of energy called Kei to activate it. Some of it is quite beautiful, especially Fon-Fon's.

Eksu-kali-ba!!!

For all anime there will always be the girl factor, and for this, Regios has a lot of them. I was hoping for a harem development at some point but I think it is nothing but a wishful thinking. But well, at least there are signs of a love triangle - or pentagon.


The fisrt girl that I feel in love with is Felli. A yandere I think and what's better - flat-chested. No offence, just that flat-chest is the best. She has the ability of a psychokinesis I think.

A very beautiful, mysterious girl.

Not forgetting her silver hair. So, very, alluring.



The second girl is the plattoon's captain. Nina is a strong girl and can be dere-dere at moments.
Her eyes and her hair reminds me of Saber. When she is wearing the armor, she looks hot - even though she does not wear a skirt.

I hope to see more of her. Especially love scenes.

One last girl that I like, although quite is Mei-Shen.

A very shy girl that has the skill to cook. Have the qualities of being a nice girlfriend.

I think there will be a cliché of Suzuka's Honoka. I mean, a shy girl getting to know the guy and end up breaking and etcetera, and so, puff she is now an outstanding girl. Who knows.

Or perhaps she will turn into something like School Day's Mikoto.

Bla Bla Bla

Friends
Met one of my good friend in a long time, missed him so much. Too bad we can't spend much time more than we did. I hope there will be a next chance of such events.

Also, I am beginning to wonder, how nice it is to have more time to spend, especially with your loved ones. Loved ones here means my friends though. As I look back the times we all spend together is indefinitely priceless. The sad days, the fun days, the WTF days and many others. We definitely can't go back to that time, but, we can always remember it. Even better, make a new memories of us together.

I hope our friendship would last forever.

Horror
The horror of architecture has shown it self to me, as many new assignments and little time for me to do it. One of the causes is my self, the few others is not that serious. I really need someone to push me harder. By my self I can't do anything.

Then again, I don't think I have tried my best yet therefore I will try to persevere more.

Faces

We make different faces when we face different people, and because of that sometimes we make a fool of our self.

Even though there are a portion of them who makes a different façade to please the people, the person would not really be satisfied. In fact, some even might be hurt. We fake our smile while he or she trying earnestly to make us happy - knowing that the smile is fake is painful.

That fake smile will eventually be a acid that corrodes the heart of the person making him or her feel more vexed, and insecure; changing him to a point he or she would not even know.

Even though it is rare, but the feeling is always there. The feeling of the heart being crushed. Being torn down.

What is the purpose in having many personae? Why just not be honest; would it not be interesting to do so?

Watching people do such things makes me wonder a lot. I can see it very clearly...

つづく