Linkin Park

It’s amazing to hear them play. Their songs, the beats that comes from it, Chester’s voice, Mike’s raps, Rob’s drumming’, Brad’s strumming, Joe’s scratching’ and Phoenix’s bass – they are the epitome of what I call music sensation.

What set’s them so different is that how they experiment their music, and try to evolve. I’ve been listening to them since their Hybrid Theory days, still got their cassette, and I like where they are going now. Some people laments that their music does not connect to the fans anymore. I digress. It connects in many ways that the normal way we think it would. The band, to me, is trying to connect their world and their perspective to the fan. They make it more gratifying to with their music.

Their music has come long ways, and it never bores me. It has been together wit me in good and bad days of my life, and it gives me strength in times in need. I wish I could one day go to their concert and see them with own eyes. It’s been a long time wish, I always had to do something during their concert. I await the day I’d go to their concert.

I just re-watched the Road to Revolution, Live at Milton Keynes 2008 concert, and I must say: IT’S FUCKING AWESOME. Especially Part 2 of it. Man, I love how No More Sorrow starts. It starts so subtle, then changing into a more clearer and defined sound, and then it goes up and up with a hefty beat, caching up to the climax, and bam, Chester comes in.

No one can beat them in term of showmanship, as far as I know. I know for sure the band is a talented one. Seeing them play, their dedication, its like an art by itself. I t always gives me inspiration to do something. I wish all the best for the band. I await their next album.

And I hope I can hear more from Joe Hahn. I wish he could do something like Daft Punk kinda thing.

Hail!

Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live.
Adolf Hitler

To be or not to be?

Had a talk with my lecturer, and he gave me a lot of stuff to think about.

How do I want my future to be? To be among the crowd? Or to have something that makes me stand out. Do I want to live in a boring cycle of doing work, go back home and sleep cycle? No. I want to something new. Something fun, something innovating. Something that can be a contribution, to me, to the people perhaps, or to anyone. In a good sense.

To achieve it is no simple task. I need to be aware of what my weakness and strengths is. I need to know what can be my point to stand out from the crowd. To do that I need to learn more, and see more things in the world. Not confined as he says it.

I wonder if I can do it? I’ll definitely need to struggle more.

The Dying Swan

The wild swan's death-hymn took the soul

Of that waste place with joy

Hidden in sorrow: at first to the ear

The warble was low, and full and clear; ...

But anon her awful jubilant voice,

With a music strange and manifold,

Flow’d forth on a carol free and bold;

As when a mighty people rejoice

With shawms, and with cymbals, and harps of gold...

I think it is time to break the wall and build a new one.

Letting Go.

I’ve finally said it. Finally I told her what my feeling is, this new feeling that I am uncomfortable with. Hopefully everything will be as normal after this. It may take a while for this lingering feeling to be gone from me. Hopefully it will be a fast process. Loving you is not what I expected, although I do love you, a lot as a friend.

Getting into romantic relationship is not something I can bear right now. Not to mention that being in one with you can seriously jeopardize our friendship.

I wish you all the happiness in life.

Love. Life. Solitary.

First of let us see the definition of these 3 words.

Love:
1. Have a great affection or liking for
2. Derive or receive pleasure from; get enjoyment from; take pleasure in
3. Be enamored or in love with
4. A strong positive emotion of regard and affection

Life:
1. A characteristic state or mode of living
2. The experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities
3. The course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living

Solitary
1. Characterized by or preferring solitude
2. Lacking companions or companionship

The issue in hand is, does living in solitude is good enough in living? Or do we actually need love to live our life? This is an ongoing question that many of us, especially the singles, kept asking. Singles might say they don’t care, or some maybe don’t want to be committed. But is it what they want?

They can fling and do a one night stand whenever they want, but when it comes to needing someone, I wonder if they can have that companion. I wonder also, how they feel when they are alone. I’d feel lonely. Sometimes I even long the touch of people.

But how to get love? That’s another big question. I truly wonder whether the word love has a meaning in this kind of world anymore. People keep talking about materialistic love, but is that what love is? I know money is very important, but, to cheat and to dump someone because of it. That’s a bit harsh. It makes me wonder, what are they thinking.

Workaholic.

Sometimes I wonder if I am a workaholic. Workaholic is a person with a compulsive need to work. I ‘m not sure if I really have a compulsive disorder or what but I seem to notice that I am usually thinking a lot about work. I wonder what is it that makes me that way.

Is it because to turn away my attention from something I dislike? Or is it because I love working? All I know I have a “you-think-too-much” compulsive disorder. Sometimes I wonder how actually I survive.

Being a workaholic is not really a good thing. It creates a cold atmosphere around you. And somehow, you’ll be far away from connecting with people. And then you’ll get cold in dealing with people. For instance, imagine someone dealing with a kid like a grownup. Giving him tasks and responsibilities he couldn’t take; or having a high expectation they can do something that people at their age shouldn’t do.

I think I am in control of it now, barely I guess. But I need to do something to fix this problem. Sooner or later, I’m going to have problems if I keep going at it.

In the Future

I’ve been thinking and done a lot. Mostly related to what I want to do in the future. My lecturers helped me a lot in searching my direction. Now it is up to me to experience and work it out. Had I not meet them I think I still might be hanging not knowing how to progress. Therefore I am thankful to them.

Life, is a journey. Some say it is a battle. Well, I’d say it is a self-discovery. It’s about making peace with your self, the Maker, the people around us, and the environment. I think life is fulfilling when you are on that route. We won’t get to deep to the material life, but near to the after life. I’d say, I’m quite happy with the road I am going through. For now at least.

I hope that I can progress faster and make more meaningful actions to give my self my personality. I want to remove the persona I have – break it down and just show my self to the world. Not sure if I can, but I’ll try.

I hope that the day will come soon.

Decisions is killing me.

Making up decision is hard, especially of it relates to life changing situations. I just had this one experience. My heart swayed from one choice to another, and it was a horrible experience. The worse thing is when it happens it slows down everything you do. And it won’t ever help you to decide also. Note to self after this: Never stop doing what you need to do when the time comes.

The dilemma I am facing is whether to skip to degree or to continue to diploma. Both has it’s own merits and demerits. My first choice is to not go to degree. My lecturers and other friends tell me to go. At one point I wanted to go, but when I stop and assess things, I think I am not ready for degree. I think I can manage when it comes to certain aspects, but I don’t think I can manage when it comes to manual rendering.

I think I need to gain more knowledge and experience, and when I do get into degree I can do it with ease and comfort. The challenge is quite a big difference, and I wonder if I can really manage.

My senior said to me, going through Semester 6 is the biggest burden you will find, and if you can manage through it; you can manage through anything. I also believe that what I am pursuing is not certificates, but the knowledge. I think I can miss a lot of basics knowledge if I skip. Not to mention the difference in standard. I rather take my time and learn rather than rushing to learn everything. After all, I am not a prodigy or whatsoever. I’m just a normal student who likes to learn.

That’s for now I guess. There’s a lot to think after this, and again note to self: Take one step at a time.

Life goes on…

Life goes on, and waits for no one. That’s something I learned the hard way. There’s no need to spend to much time on something trivial and make so much fuss on it. I learned that it is better to face the problem and face it and save time.

When I watch back the past I can see what I have done wrong in the past -  I spend too much time and too much thought solving something so trivial; and I lost many times and sometimes, precious things in the process. I think it is better to use the time better for something else, for example learning something new or meeting someone new. All this can help us in the future and create new possibilities. When we run away from problems we are not moving forward but instead we are actually stalling time to let the problem go and in some cases we are actually moving backwards because of the problem.

This remind me a story my lecturer told me on how things that we do can affect one another – like a Domino. One good deeds will come back in many other good form, and vice versa. It is this thing that I want to search. I think I have experience something similar, as what Islam have said, everything that has and is going to happen has a meaning behind it. It is us who need to find the meaning behind it and unravels the knowledge we can get behind it.